Hold your head up high lady! I get it, and I’ve been there, more times than I will ever admit, but it all passes and things gets better (cliche, but totally true). Every time it ended, I felt broken. However, the last time it finished, I felt broken for less time than before (way less, like a couple of days). It is because I was not that into him (I was totally in), it is because I finally learned to love me more, and to accept my flaws. We all have flaws, and men have just as much if not more than we do (biased opinion). I know you’ve heard it before – set your standards high and your expectations low. Understanding the difference between standards and expectations is the key to reclaiming your self-worth. Know that your standards should never be compromised, and the man that you should marry will never ask that of you. Today I will introduce you to 7 tips that I’ve embraced that set me straight, and unto the path of self-love and appreciation.
TIP # 1
Yes, I am flawed, but there are so many flawed people who find individuals who are less flawed, equally flawed, and more flawed than they are but they choose to love and respect each other as humans. These amazing people do what I do, decide to look at the real person, and not their flaws. No matter what the circumstances, your flaws are not you, and they will never be you. You are amazing!
TIP # 2
If he cannot keep his word early on (you know, during the stages where impressing you should be his goal), then he will not keep his word later. Men love to put effort into the women who actually matter to them, and you will always matter. You are important, and you are important enough for your man or likely man to keep his words to you. If this is not motivation enough to turn around and know that you are an absolute badass, I do not know what is. The truth is, you know deep down inside you two aren’t right for each other, admit it.
TIP # 3
Single is great and fun if that is what you want, but if you want to go out there and find your likely man, do it on your terms. As with your career and business, date with a purpose, and an effective strategic plan. Do what makes you happy. You need to take this and run with it. Don’t let desperation get the best of you (been there), be picky and you will end up choosing the right guy. Go on a thousand dates if you like, and of course do not go around kissing all these frogs. I am kidding about them being frogs (just because someone is not right for you, it does not make them sick people), but keep your standards intact.
If you are on a date that is making you uncomfortable, cut the date short and leave – with manners, tact, and poise. Don’t feel obligated to any man for any reason. You do not owe any MAN anything for buying you dinner. You should not be going on dates just for free dinners because it is not free if you are spending time with someone you have absolutely no interest in (don’t do a disservice to yourself). Choose your dates wisely and make the most of it.
Be yourself. Why pretend to be what HE wants you to be if that is not really who you are? Be you. Dress how you want, speak how you want, and act how you want. Why would like present something that is not real? Eventually, the real you will surface, and then what? You are worthy of love just the way you are, so don’t pretend to be something or someone you are not. Keep it simple. Know the difference between growth and compromising too much of yourself. When you compromise too much of who you truly are, it will make you unhappy.
Be confident, and if you need help with that, I am glad to help and then some. You are bad in all the right way. Join our self-esteem Facebook Group, Rock Your Self-esteem, and be one of the first to review the pilot course of the same name.
Cut all disrespectful men out of your life. Don’t be a fallback girl because you’ve known him forever and think there must be some magical thing lying in wait, there is no magic waiting, be real with yourself.. What has that done for you so far? You are so much better than a fallback girl. I have a full article on my blog dedicated to this topic, and it is the most read post so far.
You can make lemonade like Beyonce, or you can make lemon cocktails, lemon cakes, etc. The point is, what is right for one person is not okay for the other. As with all things in life, embrace the things that make you happy, and embrace the things that benefit you. Stop putting others in front of you, be bold and brave and get what you want out of life.